Neil Eyre: I'm a real alternative for police commissioner role

“OH dear Mr Planck(ton) Im not going to bother with you much longer because if you've come for a battle of wits you really shouldn't have come to a gun fight with a potato peeler. What kind of a dinosaur is a nev neutron? Yes i am an East Marsh Neutron and I expect you are being slightly disdainful of all people who live at E Marsh, but being as your somewhat lame retort is based upon reading one sentence of my reply, not looking back at the original, and going into a apopleptic keyboard frenzy, I shall leave you with this. Right of Attila the Hun?-hogwash. Are you by any chance Max Nottingham? (boring diatribes of thirty years duration in thr Telegraph, a bit of a local joke as I remember-painful to read-come on let us know.”

“What road have we been down before?

Seeing as we're into name calling I thought I'd have a look at your previous posts. Now I've stopped laughing I'll make a few cheap jokes at your expense.

Naming yourself after a dinosaur, is there a direct link between that and your comments, which to be frank are slightly to the right of Attila the Hun.

I didn't realise you had to use your own name, sorry. Are you from the Neutron's of the East Marsh?”

“No Max read carefully. I said we have been down that road before. As for balanced I have seen some of your previous offerings here on this site-naming yourself after a physicist doesn't automatically increase your powers of argument it just makes you look er...a planck.”

“And I guess the lure of nice fat £70,000 a year salary has nothing to do with Mr Eyre standing - of course he could always run on a policy of not accepting the salary and doing it for free, he would be nearly certain to get elected then.”

“I don't understand how Mr Eyre's responsible for your objections failing Nev, try and explain how he managed that. Also he says local people could use their power of veto, by not using those shops that sell booze to the drunks, that's not exactly fobbing off Police jobs, although the chances of it working in the real world are slim, if not nil.

The rest of your rant has given me a good laugh though. I guess you're not a fan of The Who, or Pete Townshend, but you are a supporter of shaving. You must be one of the most balanced people in N E Lincs, as you seem to have a chip on both shoulders. To stop Mr Eyre finishing last in this election, why don't you stand. You could run on the "Anti Who - Pro Shaving" ticket.”

“Sorry Mr Eyre but this sounds like you are already trying to fob off police jobs on the public. Nice publicity shot btw. The Who ...Pete Townshend? Youre Mister Imanordinaryguy routine is not what is needed and you have come up with more doublespeak in one statement about ''empowering communities'' than the councils can come up with in any given meeting. Sorry its not our job and never will be. People have tried and even been jailed for majking a stand
You meet problems head on weve had enough of this gobbledy**** before and the net result is nobody wants to stick their neck out. I put two objections to off licence renewal last year and those two places are still open and the trash are still gathered outsie those places. The degenerates who congregate in certain areas will not move unless they are forced to-but the police are only interestd in containing the junkies and p***heads in the areas the ylive in I cant belieive this man believes in any word he has uttered. PS get a shave and a shirt before you present youself to the public.”

“1st one that could get hanging & birching back would get my vote.”

“Blimey, and ordinary bloke with some commonsense ideas.

No wonder our local Labour Party spin doctor 1812o was quick to denounce him. People might find his views slightly more refreshing than having to listen to the same party political diatribe that gets trotted out at elections.

I'm afraid I'm old enough to remember when people used the term unreasonable, it was before the term "antisocial" was invented. So don't try to kid us all that there's anything wrong with Mr Eyre's efforts at re-branding, as all political parties have been at it for at least the last 30 years.

It's more than likely that all the major parties will have a go at Mr Eyre, as he hasn't come out and said which side of the political fence he's sitting. Could it be he isn't a political animal, and he just wants the best for all the people living in the area? How starnge could that be?

Good luck Mr Eyre, I'll be interested in hearing more of your views.”

“Does he really believe that redefining antisocial behaviour as reasonable and unreasonable behaviour will get people leaping from in front of the TV to go and vote for him?

Is he aware of how few people will in fact turn out to vote for this barmy notion of having police and crime commissioners? Then he's hoping that some of these few people per local community will come together to confront and make life difficult for scumbags so that they'd conform and stop being antisocial, oh sorry unreasonable.

What would this 'Magnificent Seven' (seven is over optimistic) then do when their houses and cars were vandalised for interfering? It would rapidly become the 'Magnificent Zero' and so is a non starter.

Sorry Mr Eyre but you don't stand a chance and will not get your hands on £70k per annum.”